Newlyweds are lying in bed after their first night together.
Husband: "Have you slept with any guy before we got merried?"
Wife: "No. Of course not."
Husband: "Well, I have."

Dialog between a couple:
"Would you cheat on me if someone offered you a hundred dollars?" asked John.
"Never!" said Nancy offended.
"What about a thousand dollars?"
"No!"
"What about ten thousand dollars?"
The amount sounded so appealing that Nancy couldn't lie a third time.

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out, since they can't see each other signing, or lips to lip-read. After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution.
"Honey, why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."
The husband thinks this is a great idea. He suggests to his wife, "If you want to have sex with me, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, pull on my penis two hundred and fifty times."

Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world. "I didn't sleep with my wife before I was married," said one clergyman self-righteously. "Did you?"
"I don't know," said the other. "What was her maiden name?"

Two cannibals are having dinner together. The guest says to his host, "Your wife sure makes good soup."
"Yeah, but I'm sure going to miss her," his friend replies.